Puff puff pass

Today in my medical science class, we had a "discussion" concerning the legalization of drugs. The division of sides in this debate soon became clear. The more slaphappy students were all for it, while the more serious students were firmly opposed. Of course being the unique individual that I am, my teacher felt compelled to put me on the spot by asking my opinion.

Personally I feel that some drugs should be legalized. No, I do not, nor have I ever used drugs. Nor would I become a pothead if the laws were changed. I've made my choice, and I don't intend to change it. Why do I feel this way, they wanted to know. Because the war on drugs is kicking our ass. The US government spends billions of dollars a year to fight this drug war. And guess where that money goes? Right into the pockets of savy drug dealers who are laughing all the way to the bank. Going to the bank in expensive sport utilities, the likes of which I just might own right now if it weren't for the meaty taxes being wrenched from my parents paychecks to help fight a losing battle. Where the fuck is this money going? Into commercials about bitches taking out their jaws, smashing up kitchens, and other such nonsense. This is not the age of innocence. Everyone knows that drugs are bad for you. Those of us with common sense stay the hell away from them, while the rest of you are probably toking up as you struggle to read these letters through your blurred and reddenning eyes.

"But drugs are bad!" No shit Sherlock. Alcohol, cigarettes, even cough syrup can fuck you up if taken. That's right. All you moms out there stuffing your kids with Robitussin need to read those labels. There's a reason why you don't take that stuff and then go operate a CAT machine. It alters your brain. Any thing that alters your brain is a drug. Chocolate is a drug. Caffiene is a drug. Hell, you could even say sex is a drug.

"But what about drug violence?" It's one of the major side effects of the war on drugs. This shit is nothing but Prohibition all over again. You saw how well that worked. The government attempted to outlaw alcohol, that provided a grand opportunity for gangsters to get filthy rich selling bootleg liquor. That's exactly what's happening now. When was the last time you heard about somebody getting shot up over some damn cigarettes? Violence is what happens when people get frustrated. People get frustrated easily, especially when they're junkies. Cigarette smokers can just mosey their asses to the store and buy some nice government regulated & taxed cancer sticks. Winos can stumble up into a bar and buy some drinks. If druggies could do the same, dealers would become obselete, just like bootleggers.

"Wouldn't there be an increase in drug use?" Probably, but it's not as if everyone is going to become a crackhead right before your eyes. The people who want to do drugs are already doing them whether you realize it or not. If your doctor wants to get hazed, he probably already is. You just don't know it. If you really want to do something, you're going to do it, and no law is going to stop you. America's prisons are full of people who are living proof of that simple fact. Those who dislike drugs are not going to start loving them just because they're legal. I'll be able to buy cigarettes in less than a year, but I won't merely because I do not like the thought of having blackened steel-wool looking lungs.

"What if it doesn't work?" It does have it's risks. God knows I wouldn't want to get in a vehicle with someone who was higher than a girraffe's ass. But then, you don't ride with someone who's drunk, so why would you ride with someone who's high? Alcohol kills almost three times as many people a year as all other major drugs combined, but I still like to have a pina coloda every now and then. You will never see someone like me drunk off their ass, because we know better. I don't know why when I say legalize drugs, people always picture folks shooting up on the corner. Hell no. You have to make laws and regulate that shit just like you do everything else. All the government has to do is try it for a while, because their approach is obviously not working. It's costly, ineffective, and impractical. If it produces no results, or results even worse than those produced by the current laws, repeal it. Burn all of the government manufactured drugs and get the country high for one last time, or entrust them to government officials for *safekeeping.* You know they're on em too, don't even lie.

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