Colorblind
It's interesting. As far back as I can remember, race never mattered in my crush history. If the guy was cute, he was just damned cute, be he black, white, asian, or indian. I cared not. My elementary school surroundings probably had a lot to do with it. I attended a predominantly white school for tag magnet students, and I learned early on how to make friends with people who looked different from me. Eventually I seperated myself from the future popular crowd, preferring the down-to-earth company of the outcasts. For about three years I hung out exclusively with two very unusual white girls. I was just as odd as they, but not nearly the way I am now. We all used to hang out in the woods, appreciating nature, and I spent a lot of time around their families as well. Even in middle school (which was also predominantly white & tag magnet) I hung out with a very diverse crowd, and as a result, I became quite comfortable around people of races other than mine.
Upon entering high school, that presented itself as a problem. My parents never really understood my aversion to the school. They found it impossible to believe that I felt alientated there, but not in elementary or middle school. Predominantly black is not the word for my high school. All black is the better term for when you have approximately three white people in the entire student body. And seeing as how I dressed, talked, and listened to music that was considered decidedly non-black, by the popular majority, I immediately found out what it was like to be made uncomfortable around your own race. The magazines I read, and the shows I watched did not agree with the School-wide norm. I found nothing glamorous or fascinating about "life in the hood" and I didn't understand why anyone would gloat about being from the streets, and so I was labeled an Oreo, and I figured the best way to make it a quick and painless experience would be to ostracize myself from the crowd even more thoroughly than I had done in elementary school. Gone were my days on the Pep Squad, pop music, and my teenybopperish style of dress. I had no reason to try and please these people, I was doomed from childhood, so I might as well do whatever I damn well please. Break out the black lipstick, nail polish, jeans big enough to fit ten people in, and shirts with lots of curse words. How refined, I know.
Anyway, somewhere along the line it became common discussion that I would only date white guys. I have no idea how that rumor started except that once I stated that I wouldn't date any of the guys in the school at the time. The reason I said that was because they were ALL dicks. Each and every one. There were also no white guys in the school at the time, so I guess that's what they decided I meant. However it happened, it became a common rumor. So when we get some new students, I finally start dating people at my own school, and lo and behold, a few of them happen to be white. It caused a scandal. Everyday, some hoodrat in my face: "Why don't you date no niggas? You hate your own race or sumpthin?" Proving that ignorance comes in many colors, I also get flak from a few white girls who think I should date my own race. All this attention only serves to make me a rather hostile individual.
By the time I got to be a senior, I was the school's first goth, I'd dated damn near every white guy in the whole school, and I had the reputation of a psycho who hung out with the weirdest people in all of christendom. What has all of this taught me, other than when you flip out on people they'll get off your ass rather quickly and it's hard to find people who aren't scared of you after that? It has taught me that racism and a person's stance on interracial dating go hand in hand. You have people who'll say: "I swear I'm not a racist, but I would NEVER date a black guy." or "I believe in equality, but I'll be damned if I EVER touch a white girl." Well guess what? You are a racist. If you would automatically deny a professional or personal relationship with someone just because they happen to be born with a different shade of skin than your own, you are indeed a racist, and you might as well accept your own ignorance and try to learn from it.
If you deny yourself the company of someone based on their color, you'll miss out on a lot of the best friendships you could ever have. I don't think that there's anything wrong with interracial dating, you just have to learn how to tell naysayers to mind their own damn business. Because if you spend your life trying to do what everyone else wants you to do, you'll never get a chance to figure out what YOU like. I've given up on trying to explain to my peers that I don't specifically go after guys of a particular group, I just look for people with similar personality, interests, style of clothing, taste in music, etc. Fuck them if they want to be narrowminded trolls. I still continue to date a wide variety of males, and I still find some men from every race attractive. I still however harbor a deep and passionate dislike of hoodrats & valley girls that I don't think will ever go away. Luckily I've managed to keep from spending time around the types of people who would cause me to commit a major felony.
I still get hell from my own family every now and then because of the types of guys I date. My brother calls me an Oreo constantly, and my own mother has been known to refer to me as The White Boy Magnet because of how whenever we go somewhere, skaters, goths, and ravers follow me around, vying for my attention. They conveniently ignore all the black guys I've dated, and I've even been lectured on it. I understand their concern in that they're from the south, where race relations are still not at their ideal peace in a good deal of places. Still, I'm not going to change my personality to fit into what society thinks I should be on account of my color, and anyone who thinks I should do so can kiss my black ass.