And for the fellas (surely, you didn't think I'd forget about you)

Ah, sweet College Club. It has proven to be a source of inspiration, allowing me to comfortably observe the dumber side of human nature in all it's hormonal youth glory. Nauseating. Well, since I've cast my two cents for the female side of that fence, now how about the male. Alright then.

First off, I've been seeing an awful lot of victims. Oh excuse me, "Nice guys." Uh huh, yeah fucking right, talk about the walking wounded. Now, I have nothing against guys that are genuinely nice. I love those types of guys. They will hold a door open for any woman, not just the good-looking ones. They love their mothers. They treat people with courtesy and respect, and are treated well in return. Well, unless they live in the city, but I digress. Those are actual nice guys, guys that are nice because it's the right thing to do. Then you have these mopey, pissy, griping ass bastards who wear their hearts on their sleeves, and then are shocked when some bitch snatches and runs with it. I have had the displeasure of being acquainted with several of these guys. They will sit and bitch and moan about how women only want jerks or guys with a lot of money or really good looks. Now, if you take a look at the women that most "nice guys" tend to want, it's no surprise. They want a woman who is beautiful, smart, funny, nice, with a good personality. In other words, totally out of their league. No wonder you can't get the time of day. If you don't even possess one of the five qualities you're seeking in a mate, you're just going to be assed out. Do not ask of others what you could not ask of yourself. The "nice guys" that I've known may have two, or three of those qualities at most. Sorry to say it, but it's the truth. Why would a woman who is so damn cool want a, dare I say, loser? She wouldn't if she's alright in the head. Of course, nice guys don't see it that way. They feel that they are being unfairly treated, because the woman of their dreams is dating a guy that is not them, so he must be a jerk. Well guess what? You're a jerk too. The only thing that differentiates you from him, is that he has balls. The jerk obviously did something right, because he has a woman in his life. You sit there stewing in your cowardly jerkness and you're never going to get the girl, and that's nobody's fault but yours. Women do not owe you dates just because you say that you would treat them right. Treating people right is a basic human courtesy, not a fucking barter and trade system that you use to get girls to go out with you. Doesn't work that way, pal. Oh yes, and then you have the "nice guys" who finally do get the guts to go after those unattainable women. Most of them get burned horribly, or shot down in advance. Shit happens, move on right? Wrong. They choose to sit in their misery, complaining about the evil woman that did them wrong, and it's not long before they begin to apply these beliefs to all women. Then, they decide the only way to get women is to be a jerk, or at least admit to being the jerk they already are. I will say this, if people keep doing you wrong in relationships, it's your own damn fault. There are very few people skilled enough to mask all of their flaws, so that you have no idea what kind of person they are. When a guy dates a bitch, he knows damn well that she is bitch. Therefore, he should not be surprised when she runs off one day and leaves him with nothing but a steaming pile of shit for his troubles. Even I have dated some prime assholes. I knew they were assholes, and nothing they did surprised me, because I expected it of them. I'm surprised that those relationships each lasted the month they did. Although those exes were and continue to be on occasion, pains in my ass, I have not applied their putrid personas to all men. I have also dated a few "nice guys." I think I actually preferred the assholes. At least they didn't follow me around like a love-sick puppy and grovel at my feet. If I wanted someone to kiss my ass, I'd hire a vice president. There is no joy in being with someone whose standard replies consist of "Whatever you want to do," "Yes, dear," "Whatever I did, I'm sorry," and "Why didn't you call me back?" Ugh, ugh, fucking ugh. Get an opinion, a life, a backbone, a lobotomy. Most of all get the hell away from me. That is just not right, and the only type of girl who'd date someone like that for long is one with no conscience, who is planning to use you. Remember this all you so-called nice guys, the only use for a doormat is wiping your feet, before walking on to better places. Get up off that ground and take a more active role in things, the results might surprise the shit out of you.

I've also noticed an abundance of male sluts. I think they must be in season or something. Maybe I should get out the shotgun and go bag me a few while they're fresh. "Don't hate the player, hate the game! Play on player!" Um, no. Games are for children. If we are supposed to be adults here, let's act like it, and cut the bullshit. I do not buy into that excuse about there being more women than men, so men are entitled to fool around. No, no. What that does mean though, is that since there are so many woman, you should have no problem finding those women that just want sex, instead of wasting the time & emotions of women you have no intentions of being faithful to? No, having three girlfriends does not make you a stud, player or pimp. It makes you a fucking chump, who does not have the guts to tell women up front that all he wants is pussy. No, no, you're a two-bit tramp who has to validate his own sense of self-worth by how many women he's secretly been with. If you have to hurt people in order to feel good about yourself, then you have a mental problem and you need to get help. Ooh big man, indeed. I hope you know, you're playing Russian Roulette. You mess around and cheat on the wrong woman, and your sorry ass is going to be flat out in a casket, or missing a dick. Or you mess around and sleep with the wrong woman, then you end up getting the itchin', burnin' sensation deep down in your pants, or pulling $400 a month out your ass for child support. Then you have the players that make it to mental adulthood, and realize that one day they aren't going to be able to fuck anymore, so they want to settle down and know the love of a good woman and good family. But, they can't find any good women. Surprise! You played them all! Now all the women that loved you, hate your guts, and the good women you didn't date can smell the stench of the player on you, and won't even speak to you. So the only women attracted to you are sluts, just like you. But you can't make a ho into a housewife, so you're condemned to live an empty life of meaningless sex, or nursing a doomed marriage. Yeah, yeah, cry me a fucking river, and then drown in it. It serves you right, you rutting dog. May you mature and see the error of your ways before it's too late.

Then we have the eventual product of these behaviors, misogynists. Somewhere along the line these cretins have decided that gender determines superiority. They have made glaring generalizations about women, based on their own and other's shallow experiences. They tend to categorize all women as over-emotional, scatter-brained, sluts who need men to do everything for them. Of course the women that don't fall into this group are bitch-dykes who just need a good piece of dick to set them right, so they can get in the kitchen and make dinner already. These men have decided that the only good woman that exists is their mother, and not even that in some cases. The fact that they have either taken for granted & mistreated all the good women in their life until they got fed up and left them, or solely pursued worthless women all their life, is lost on them. Usually these are the same men who think that women should all be beautiful, while they themselves nurse their bloated stomachs, lifting beer, after beer to their troll-like faces. Give me a fucking break. I'm not going to date someone I'm not attracted to. I'm not asking for a male model, but if you're not even reasonably in shape, shit, to hell with you, and if you resemble anything out of a Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark book, you are not getting eye contact, let alone a conversation. No offense, but I don't like having nightmares. In all fairness, with less picky women, a good personality will make up for a lot of things, even a troll-like appearance. But misogynists do not have good personalities. They have warped, biased reasoning, and prejudiced views that constantly seep out of their pie holes, since most of them will display their woman-hatred for you at every chance they get. This simply does not fly. A men tells me to get back in the kitchen, sure I'll go in the kitchen. But I will be coming back out with a meat cleaver, and I will be carving his lazy ass like a jack-o-lantern if he doesn't get the hell out of my house and never show his smarmy face again. Don't be stupid now, some women will sooner kill your grouchy ass than spend the best years of their life sitting there listening to you criticize them from your sofa, on why they couldn't be more like your mother, or some model. I haven't dated any misogynists, because I don't want to go to jail for murder. I have been friends with a couple of them though, but they know to shut that shit up when they're talking to me. I let them know that yes, I am a woman, and yes, I can kick your ass or have it kicked, so you want to watch those statements unless you want to be eating all your food through a straw for a few months. Again, I don't hold all men accountable for the stupidity of a few, so you can give me the same respect or prepare to count all your teeth on one hand if you don't, because this woman hits like a man. Fucking-a.

Last but not least, we have the Chesters. Also know as the Molesters. These are the 40 year old men who only try to date women half their age. They have not mentally matured yet, and so they cannot understand why a 19 year old such as myself would be utterly disgusted when they try to talk to me. For crying out loud, if you are old enough to be my father, don't even bother. I am not Anna Nicole Smith, I will not date a man 10 or 20 years older than me, because he is a goddamn pervert. Forget College Club, I get enough of this when I go to the store. Just the other day, I went into Wal-Mart wearing shorts, and a belly shirt. This guy who looked about sixty gave me one of the most lecherous look-overs I've gotten since my first semester swim teacher. I've gotten used to it, but it pisses my mother off to no end. Then there's the employee fan club of men I get whenever we go to one of the clothing stores without dressing rooms. At the one store it's so bad, they pull up chairs and just sit and stare at you while you walk around. These guys have daughters my age. I actually had a guy say that to me online. "I have a daughter about your age." Why the fuck are you telling me this? Hoping that I'll come over to play, and you can get some kind of threesome with me and your kid? Probably, knowing the minds of these perverts. The same goes for those married men that can't keep their hands off their 20 year old secretaries, and the men that trade their wives in for younger women every five years. You are a bunch of dirty old men, and you need the kind of therapy that only a foot in the ass can provide. Pursuing a girl young enough to be your kid is just not cool. Half of these men only want someone young and dumb to have their kids for them now that they've sown their wild oats and lived their life. Well nuts to you, buddy. Hate to break the news, but a lot of the young girls that will date you are doing it for your money, and don't be so dumb as to think that they aren't getting some virile young dick on the side. Someone who doesn't need Viagra or toupees. I have nothing against older men, just stay the hell away from me, and if I ever have daughters or sons, you stay the hell away from them too.

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