I Love Napster

I remember back when I had no idea what Napster was. It was all over the news, and the internet, yet I still didn't have the vaguest conception under God of what it was. I went there once, found that I was unable to do anything, and lost immediate interest. Maybe that was because I was still using WebTV, that godforsaken internet browser.... Anyway, upon receiving my beloved computer, I kept hearing about it yet again. My school was still oblivious, mainly because I don't exactly attend the cutting edge technology center for teenagers. One of my male friends told me to go there again now that I had a PC. So I did.

I eventually figured it out, seeing as how I'm so slow and all, then pretty soon I had amassed a small collection of my favorite songs. I, unlike some people, do not use Napster to download whole entire CDs. I do not use my CD burner for evil fundraising by downloading a fuckload of songs and charging people for bootleg discs. In the beginning I only listened to songs I had already heard before. Then I started listening to songs I already had on CD, simply because I was too lazy to go get them from my room. But finally, it happened. I started listening to bands I'd never heard of before. Music, sweet music that these shitty radio stations here don't play because the singer doesn't make a reference to shaking it fast, or do a striptease at a music awards show.

Even though I have a CD burner, I still go out and buy the original CDs. Why? Because I use the burner to dub the original. No, actually I believe that the artist busted their ass for this music, and they deserve to get paid. Upon my access to Napster, I have bought more CDs than I normally would. I didn't even know who the fuck Silverchair was. But I bought Freakshow, and I think it's damn sweet. Napster helped make me into the U2-loving nutcase that I am today. It provided me a way to get my parents used to Marylin Manson so that I could buy his music without risking coming home and finding my CDs confiscated and given to my older siblings for safe keeping. Yes, my parents have actually done that. I haven't seen my copy of Ice Cube's Lethal Injection since 6th grade for fear it would corrupt my poor little mind. Fuck the music, my parents have HBO & Showtime to thank for that little honor. But I digress.

The artists who piss and moan about Napster are really stupid. Metallica? Oh come on, it's not like you guys were exactly at the top of Total Request Live last time I checked anyway. You should be grateful you still have enough fans who'd risk prosecution to listen to your music. You should be fucking flattered. But no. As with many bands who turn into mainstream sellouts, their shameless pride has swelled their greedy heads to monstrous proportions that can't fit through the door of reality. Do you know how many struggling unknowns would love to have a whole mess of people downloading their songs, listening to them in school, spreading the word? You imbeciles! You're getting more publicity. Which means people who were previously like "Who the hell is Metallica?" are probably going to take at peek at what you have to offer. Controversy sells, which is why tabloids make so much money. People are nosy, and they like to go investigate (we all see how that works out in horror movies).

"But it's stealing!!!!" Stealing? People actually steal things? Oh my! This is the United States people. The 20th Century (the 21st doesn't start until 2001 so shut up) has shown us that the world is a cruel, corrupt place. I hardly think listening to a bit of music in a country founded upon theivery & ruthlessness is really a top priority in world concerns. Adults screw little kids, people drag others to death, outcasts shoot up their schools, and you wanna blast me over the ethics of listening to copyrighted music?! *fighting to repress urge to start blacking some eyes*

"But what about the artists?" They're just mad because they didn't think of it first. Nuts to them. Personally I think they should really get off Napster's ass, if for no other reason than they're not making any money off it. If I ran Napster, I'd have been shut down a long time ago, because I'd be charging the shit out of people. $$$ Yeah baby. The artists aren't mad because their copyrighted music is being traded. They're mad because they're not getting any money. Well they can "Suck It"

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