This one goes out to all the ladies out there

Well not really, because this is something a lady already knows. However to the slut, petty heifer, so-called independent woman, and little girl this may be a good source of enlightenment. Or it may just get your panties all up in a bunch. Do I care? Hell no, so anyway...

The first thing I noticed about the women on College Club, was that they were loose. Sexually liberated. Easy. Slutty. Whorish. Whatever. Hey, that is cool with me. Fuck your brains out, every night, I don't care. Just don't do any of the following three things: 1. Don't touch me. I'm serious. If you so much as tap me on the shoulder, I will break your fingers like so many pretzels before I am able to stop myself. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac when it comes to STD's. I've seen the pictures, people's private parts should not look like broccoli, rice, mashed potatoes, or anything else they are not. That disturbs me. 2. Don't lie to guys. You know damn well you're easy, don't get into a relationship only to win his heart, then turn around and cheat on him because you're a nymphomaniac. Tell him upfront you just want to be fuck buddies, not his girlfriend. Then if he's stupid enough to catch feelings for you, it's his own fault. Tricking a guy into thinking you care about him, and then using him for sex and callously discarding him, is pretty damned low. 3. Don't ask stupid questions like "Do you think I'm a slut?" or "How many sexual partners is too many?" If you even have to ask such a question, then you already know the answers. The only question you need to ask in that case is "Why do I care what other people think?" If you're having fun, and you're not hurting anybody else, then live your life as you see fit. If you want to be the dick connoisseur, go right ahead, more power to you. But, be aware, a price does come with all of that sexual freedom. If you do meet that guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, and he happens to get wind of your looseness, he's probably not going to give you the time of day. Or at least, he might screw you, but he's not going to date you, because he can't trust you. The only men who won't question your trustworthiness, are loose themselves, and they don't care what you do, because they're going to be cheating on you anyway. The men worth settling down for aren't going to want you, though. The double standard exists, and it's still going strong. So many men want to marry virgins, but so many women don't expect men to stay virgins, so they don't care. But, you will only be young once, so live it as you see fit. Just please don't come whining to me when you finally want a good boyfriend and can't get one, or you catch some funky disease.

Then I have had several run-ins with the petty heifers. Not so much as online, as offline. Everywhere I go, I am constantly being mugged on by some disgruntled female. I have done nothing except been the recipient of good genes, and a nice figure, yet you would think I hit them in the ass with darts, they're so offended. Does my physical appearance so intimidate them? So what if your boyfriend swivels his head around to look at me, I don't want him, and you shouldn't either. If you're stupid enough to date a man who blatantly disrespects you like that, it's your own fault, not mine. You ought to slap those roaming eyes right out of his head, and stop glaring at me. I may be pretty, but I am not all-powerful. I cannot create problems in a relationship that weren't already there, nor would I want to. Even the girls without guys at their sides seem to be miffed. The most vivid and recent memory I have of this is last semester, when I went with some friends to see The Vagina Monologues. We all decided to dress up, since going to the theatre is something of a special occasion. I was pretty much shit out of luck when it came to dressing up, as I had foolishly left all my formal clothes at home. So I had to improvise. My outfit consisted of a black corset, with red satin oriental print skirt, and I had the hair sticks, and earrings to compliment it. Well, upon entering the building, I was met with several outraged cries, hate-filled glares, and muttered expletives. That sort of behavior is childish, and unwarranted. It's not like I strutted into the lobby with my nose in the air. I was walking normally, talking with my friends. And yet, a mob of angry, envious females, yowled indignantly from the sidelines. I have never understood this jealousy thing. When I see a beautiful woman, I admire her, and I look at her to see if there is anything I can take from her, a style of dress, a certain shade of lipstick, a way of applying eye make-up, hair coloring, etc, that I can incorporate into my own look. I use her for ideas, basically. I do not feel envy, because there is no point. No matter how good you look, there is always going to be someone else who could just walk into the room and blow you away. On top of that, looks fade with time, and they're just random genetics, they seldom ever reflect the person who has them. I don't think that I'm some clock-stopping stunner, oh hell no. I think I'm pretty, that's enough for me. But I do like to think that I'm intelligent, and I have a nice personality when I'm not cutting into some dumbass. Then I like to take pride in my artistic skills, or maybe even my writing talent. Heh. But just looks alone? No way, it's really not that serious. And all you jealous petty heifers need to get a fucking clue already and quit letting other people's confidence be the source of your own insecurity. Please, get over it.

I have a love-hate relationship with Destiny's Child. This is because of the mixed signals they send. On their first album, they're all about stealing other women's men. Their second album, they're all about trying to hold on to these men at all costs. Then on the third album, they are telling these men to hit the fucking bricks. A cool sentiment if there ever was one, but I don't like the reasoning behind it. It has helped spawn a group of so-called independent women, who are in reality, very disillusioned women. Don't get me wrong, I am all about sisters doing it for themselves, so to speak. I respect the hell out of a woman who can take care of herself, and any kids she may have without any help. However, what I cannot abide are bratty, self-absorbed twits that think that treating all men like shit, and throwing your money around make you independent. No, that makes you a pain in the ass. Come on now, so a man opens the door for you. Don't slap his face, screaming "I can do it myself, you male oppressor!" Say thanks, and walk past. Reward courtesy with courtesy, don't fucking attack him because he has some manners. I have no qualms with letting a door slap a rude woman in the face, and if she comes around the side angry for a piece of me, I'll gladly kick her ass. Apparently common decency has been lost on these dumb shrews in their quest for independence. One lyric in particular that I take issue with is from Independent Women Part 2: "Do them boys like they used to do you, if you pimp them, I congratulate you." Pimping is repugnant. Be the pimp male or female, it is disgustingly low-brow all the same. There is no honor in that, and people who think that there is need to be blasted in the genitals at close range with a shotgun to keep them from breeding. Even if you've been pimped in the past, stooping to their level and taking it out on others makes you no better than them. If anything, it makes you worse, since you've been on the receiving end, and you know the pain that you're dishing out. Be mature about it, and just pop out of the bushes in all black with a ski mask and a baseball bat and bludgeon their ass. Going out of your way to be nasty to someone is just deplorable. I mean, I don't care much for depending on men either, but hell, I'm civil to them, provided they're civil to me. If a guy asks to buy me a drink I tell him no thanks, but I do not take out my wad of bills and shuffle it in his face to get a point across. Yes, I do know the guys who flash their Rolex at you and honk at you from their Escalades are pretty annoying, and they would be the ones deserving of that "I can buy and sell your ass, little man," attitude. But let us not confuse showiness with chivalry. Because chivalry is damn near dead, and women are the ones that are killing it. I don't know about the rest of you, but I like having doors held open for me. Even though I can do it myself, it's the thought that counts.

At the opposite end of the spectrum from the "independent women" are the little girls. I'm talking about mental, not physical immaturity here. They seem to have some kind of daddy complex, because they need to have a man at all times. They feel they are nothing without their male counterparts. They cling to his legs, call him every five minutes, do whatever he tells them, and then don't understand why he fucks their best friend, and dumps them for some woman he met at a bar. Then they take him back, or go find some man just like him, so it starts all over again. Friday night finds them crying their eyes out on their friend's shoulder while he's out with his friends hitting on women. Suck it up and open your eyes, you silly bitch. A person will only give you as much shit as you let them. You call him on his actions and kick him to the curb. He may pull the same shit again, but it won't be with you. Don't bother trying to save him. If you have to try to save him, then he's not worth saving, bottom line. Oh yes, and when he does cheat on you, don't get all stupid and go try to fight the woman. Another woman can only take your man if he lets himself be taken. So you get that 2x4 from Lowe's and you bean his ass in the head, but leave her out of it, unless she's a close friend or relative, then you can sock it to her too. And don't take him back. I don't know about "Once a cheater, always a cheater" but it sure would make him seem more inclined to cheat in the future, not to mention the trust is shot to shit. You don't trust him because he cheated, and he doesn't trust you because he thinks you're going to cheat to get revenge. And then we have the little girls who throw their education, goals, even family away to be with some guy. Honey, it is not that serious. It is never that serious. Even if the man is rich, and you don't ever have to work, what's going to stop him from waking up one day, realizing you're useless, and tossing you out on your ass. Once you've given him all that time, you won't ever get it back. Any guy who'd ask you to give up your entire life to become a part of his does not want a woman. He wants a pet, and he is not worth the precious seconds it would take to lift your foot to his ass. You'd be a hell of a moron if you didn't walk away from that. But then, so many of the little girls know all of this, they've heard it again, and again, and still they fuck up. Well that's fine, but hey, my shoulder has a no-repeat offenders rule. You only get to cry on it about a thing once. After that, you'd better deal with it, and that's the way the world is.

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